Bone Rattler…….

As positive a person as I am, it would be safe to say I needed a laugh, but did not expect such a thing when “Working Wendy” once again became “Moaning Myrtle”.  How wrong I was.

So there I am driving to get yet more animal food when I decide things are not as they should be and even though the old girl is due to visit her “other home” the next day I still feel a very strong urge to pop in and enquire as to her odd behaviour. On inspection, I’m banned from driving her any further otherwise the bill could be humongous, so with the husband home but visiting his parents in Pembrokeshire in the reliable car, what was a girl to do but to beg or borrow something. Now bear in mind I’m in a Land Rover garage, also bear in mind it’s not the posh kind, it is the kind that does it’s best not to give you complete heart failure on presenting the bill (notice I say “complete”, it’s only partial) so courtesy cars are not the norm, in that it won’t be a car, it could be the armoured personnel carrier parked outside though.  It’s my lucky day, so when I’m shown to my vehicle I’m rather glad (30 odd years later) that my dear Pa taught me to drive in a Series 2 Landie (Land Rover to the uninitiated).  The keys look like the sort you would have for a locker. After being shown all the controls; lights and er heating!  Off I set, 1st visit, a large car park where I drive round until I can find a space I can drive into and straight out of.  I’ve yet to find reverse. I spend at least 10 mins trying to lock a car with a canvas-back, derrrr.  I’m excited….ok maybe slightly stressed as to whether I can remember how to change gears and do hill starts.  I hadn’t had to for years since both our cars are now automatic.  Guess we are getting old.  Anyway after a bit of food shopping I come out and the Army issue Defender is still there, apparently car thieves as yet don’t find them attractive. Could that be because you can’t get over 45 unless you are going down hill with a following wind? I was excited for one moment as I thought I’d hit 100 mph until I realised the gauge thing was in kilometres per hour.

So me and the Landie are now acquainted.

I know 3rd can be a tad tricky but I’ve found reverse and although I’m now deaf all is basically going well.  I have even overtaken a vehicle.  Ok it was an even older Landie and it was towing but I got a huge grin and a thumbs up from the even older than me bloke behind the wheel.  Triumphant, I arrive in Truro to pick my 14-year-old daughter up from her posh ish Girls school. Now this was going to be priceless and was worth every bone rattling moment of my half hour drive.  As I took pictures of her jaw dropping to the ground, she set eyes on me in what was going to be taking her home, I cried laughing.  As she got over the shock and climbed in with gritted teeth swearing she would never forgive me I started her up whereupon the annoying whingeing disappeared.  Off we trundled, such fun!! I’ve warned Steve I shall want to borrow another one next time I could do with a good rattle.

Couldn’t resist adding a few of the crowd here at Ruby Farmhouse Holiday Cottages, they have all been up to no good and sticking their noses in everything, nothing changes.