Confused?……I Am
When I started this blog I intended for it to be all about Cornwall, life in Cornwall and about our Cottages and guests, but as with life in general today’s blog has gone off on a tangent some what and sometimes you have to just say it as it is, so here goes.
Why exactly are we here? There, I’ve asked the question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. 99.9% of us will never know the real answer, we will on the other hand have a gut feeling of when we are in the right place at the right time doing the right thing, do we listen and if so, how long does that feeling last? So the questions go on and on and round and round in my head. They always do when my husband has been home for a month and then returns to work in another country for another 3 or 4 months.
We have had a wonderful month, living as a family, having friends to stay, exploring Cornwall, eating lovely food, cooking lovely food etc etc and then I blink and it’s all gone. Husband away, friends have gone back to their lives, our daughter off with friends and on sleepovers and I’ve become a hermit again. Don’t get me wrong I’m not sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I don’t need to hide away, I just do. We have chosen to lead the life we do in order to follow a dream, I live in a beautiful place with a roof ( a very lovely roof) over my head, with our daughter, animals and our friends close by, while my husband lives somewhere he can’t even put fresh milk in his tea. It’s not the end of the world I know, but it is part of the problem, why should I have fun when my husband can’t even have fresh milk!? There are people far, far worse off, I understand and take nothing for granted, it’s just it’s like living on a roller coaster, one minute as high as a kite the next in the depths of misery. So at this time I always find myself asking ‘are we doing the right thing?’ Each time it gets harder not easier to get back to the positive place, surely after 15 years of living with my husband away for varying amounts of time it should be easier and I should know we’re on the right path? Thing is, I don’t, do any of us? I need that inspirational moment to show itself yet again to reassure me that yes this is where we should be, doing what we are doing.
Just one more thing I’d like to share with you, I heard it in the film “Hotel Marigold”, I apologise as I have no idea if it is a quote that originates from elsewhere, but it now lives on my fridge and goes like this
“It will all be alright in the end – and if it’s not alright then trust me, it’s not yet the end…..”
Comments and a pep talk very welcome!